Chapter
9 : Secure in Change - Mentoring
“therefore
encourage one another and build each other up”
(1
Thess 5:11)
So far we have been considering security in the church in respect
of relationships, but now we move on to considering aspects of security
as they affect the ministry of the church. In this chapter we'll be
considering the mandate of the church to bring change and maturity to
the individual members. In the next chapter we'll consider security
as it is affected by preaching, then as it is affected by the use of
spiritual gifts, and finally as it is affected by our call to be light
to the world.
9.1
Change is Threatening
As we come to look at the ministry of the church we have to consider
something that is so fundamental and basic that perhaps most of us either
take if for granted, or we've never even thought about it. That is the
teaching of the New Testament that Christians are to change and to mature.
Let's check that with some verses:
2
Cor 3:16 And we, who
with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed
into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from
the Lord, who is the Spirit.
Note several things here:
2
Cor 10:15 Our hope
is that, as your faith continues to grow , our area of activity
among you will greatly expand
Eph
4:15,16 Instead, speaking
the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who
is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held
together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up
in love, as each part does its work.
-
Again
Paul assumed that the church would grow closer to Jesus and to become
more like Jesus, a process that would take time and united effort.
-
These
verses follow on from Paul's description of the ministry gifts to
the church and their function:
Eph
4:11-13 It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to
be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers,
to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ
may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge
of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure
of the fullness of Christ.
serve
God.
understand our unity in the Faith and in Jesus.
the body, the church.
1
Pet 2:2 Like newborn
babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up
in your salvation
-
Likewise
Peter used the same sort of language and the word he uses was that
used for the normal expected growth of children, implying that when
we came to Christ we were like little babies who needed feeding,
and who then grew up.
2
Pet 3:18 grow
in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
The writer to the Hebrews was even more explicit:
Heb
5:11-14 We have much to say about this, but it is
hard to explain because you are slow to learn. 12 In fact, though by
this time you ought to be teachers , you need someone to teach you
the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not
solid food! 13 Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant ,
is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. 14 But solid
food is for the mature , who by constant use have trained themselves
to distinguish good from evil
-
He
maintains Christians ought to grow up so that they in turn can teach
others
-
He
speaks of those who have failed to mature as still being infants
-
Spiritual
infancy he suggests is about not being clear what righteousness
is, and not being able to distinguish clearly between good and evil.
Before we conclude this first section of this chapter,
we ought to notice the designation given to Jesus' followers throughout
the Gospels – “disciples”. A disciple was a pupil of a teacher, so John
the Baptist had disciples (Matt 9:14), the Pharisees had disciples (Mt
22:16), and Jesus of course had such followers (e.g. Matt 10:1; 11:1).
Believers in general became called disciples (Acts 6:1-2, 7; 9:36) although
they weren't called "Christians" until the founding of the
church at Antioch (Acts 11:26).
It may be that you come from a part of the church, for
which all of the above is common teaching, but if you are not, then
I suggest that you go through the above verses again until you are quite
clear in your mind that God's intention for you is to become a learner,
one who is changing more and more into the likeness of Jesus, both in
character and in service.
You're not quite sure about the service bit? Well consider
the following:
Jn
14:12
I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what
I have been doing
Rom
12:4-6 Just as each of us has one body with many
members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in
Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all
the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.
Eph
2:10 For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ
Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
If you being an active member of Christ's body on earth
is an alien or new concept to you, then read and reread these verses
and realize that this is nothing strange or peculiar, but is simply
the basic teaching of what life is supposed to be like for a Christian.
9.2
Mentoring
Preaching,
teaching & mentoring
Growth as a Christian, we've said, means change and the
change comes about with knowledge and with security. The Christian faith
is a ‘content-full' faith, it is a faith that is built upon knowledge
of what God has communicated – the Gospel. It is a faith that has a
book which informs and guides. Teaching and preaching are two recognised
ministry gifts in the church, and they are both about communicating.
Preaching and teaching however, tend to be ‘out front'
ministries and there is much value in having someone who is close to
you who is wiser and (probably) older and more experienced who can share
with you on a personal level, and with whom you can share your life.
This is a much more gentle way of bringing the teaching and guidance
that we all need. This is what mentoring is all about.
In the latter part of the twentieth century, in certain progressive
parts of the Church much emphasis was placed on “discipling”, but that
often came with overtones of “heavy shepherding” and so here I'd prefer
to use the concept of mentoring instead, which has the same objective
but goes about it in a more gentle and personal way.
Discipling was all about teaching new Christians what the Bible
says about the Christian life, or as Jesus said, “teaching them to obey
everything I have commanded you” (Mt 28:20). In other words it
was helping the new Christian, or the new disciple, how to live out
Jesus' teaching, so it is action, not merely words in the head. Mentoring
has the same idea behind it.
Mentoring
is all about Relationship & Security
A preacher or teacher can be distant from you, but a mentor
is someone who has a relationship with you. A preacher can be hard and
fearful and you can still get much from their preaching, but a mentor
has to create security if you or I can come to a place where we are
willing to be vulnerable and open up our lives and receive into our
lives on such a direct and personal level.
If we are to receive the gentle correction and help from someone
at this level, then there needs to be a working at such a relationship
by both sides, but from the mentor especially there needs to be working
to ensure that that characteristic of accepting, loving, caring and
compassion are FELT and experienced by the other person.
Some of us are like wounded animals, insecure and unsure of ourselves
because of the hurts of life. We particularly, need the vital love and
acceptance of a mentor who may be the one agent of God who can reach
into our pain and bring healing.
Perhaps a distinction we might suggest between ‘discipling' as
some knew it in the twentieth century, and ‘mentoring' as we are sharing
it here, is that of law versus grace. Discipling tended to say, “This
is what you ought to be” (Law). Mentoring says, “Can I share your life
and show you how I've got on?” (Grace). This sort of mentoring (and
the world might teach something different) comes with the gentleness
and humility of Christ and loves and accepts you where you are.
A Christ-like mentor doesn't chide you but says, “I understand
where you are. I accept that”. When we find that sort of love and acceptance
it means we feel we can lower our defensive barriers and let our ‘friend'
know who I really am, and when we voice who we really are, we are half
way towards change. Speaking out to another what we're really like,
allows us to release whole loads of things that have previously held
us captive.
9.3
A Person's Heart
However, there is also another factor in the equation, one which
I confess I find difficult to grasp – and that is the state of a person's
heart. The Bible talks a lot about the heart and of course it doesn't
just mean the muscle that pumps blood around the body. It refers to
that central aspect of a person that involves their will and their feelings.
Why does one person's will decree they are all-out for God and another
person is half- hearted? Can that half heartedness be changed?
A
Heart that Changes
Sometimes, yes. Sometimes truth does change a person. There
are times when, because the sense of security created is very real in
a mentoring context, truth can penetrate behind the apparent hardness
that has been created by the hurts of life. Perhaps in such cases it's
not so much hardness of heart as fear of heart, fear that prevents change,
fear that prevents openness, fear that prevents healing.
It is in these cases that “perfect love drives out fear”
(1 Jn 4:18), the love of Jesus through you, the mentor, that accepts
that person completely as they are and loves them as they are. Sometimes
that, and that alone, provides the means for the truth to be received.
This love and acceptance, that we have been referring to from the beginning
of this book, is the greatest dynamic for change in any person's life.
We change when we are loved, or perhaps more accurately, when we realise
we are really loved and accepted as we are, it opens the door for a
whole series of changes to take place in us.
The
Heart that doesn't Change
However, sometimes people hear and don't respond!
Pharaoh was “hard hearted” and became more and more so, and so attempted
correction sometimes simply confirms people in their way! We do need
to be aware of that. In his case it seems to be that pride and arrogance
was set in him so that nothing would change him. That is why God destined
him for destruction (Rom 9:17 ,18)
How will we know the outcome? We won't. Our role is simply
to listen to God and seek to catch His heart for this person. There
will be those to whom God will join us in heart so that we bring His
gentle accepting love. There will be others who we will come to see
are really only performing on the outside but inwardly are set, and
even our loving acceptance will not move them, but even they we have
to approach in this same manner. If they turn away, we don't want them
to be able to say it was because of our harshness of approach.
The
Possibilities
Each any every one of us is answerable to God for the way
we responded to other people. If we have the opportunity of the privilege
of being a mentor to someone else, we never want to put a stumbling
block in their way. It's easy to write people off as hard hearted when
they don't respond to us, but perhaps we were less than Christ to them.
There will be days when my grace level is low, but my effort
must be to seek to ensure that such days are few and far between. If
you sure not certain how Jesus did this, go back to Book One and see
the early chapters of how Jesus responded to people, and especially
to Peter.
You remember that Paul & Barnabus in Acts 15 (verses 36 on)
had a dispute (we'll be considering that again in another chapter) over
the question of John Mark. Paul was a “no messing” character who just
wanted to get on with the job and if anyone couldn't keep up, then,
tough! Barnabus, as his name signifies was an encourager, a people-person,
a man who gave people second chances. If you are a Barnabus type of
person, you could perhaps become a great mentor to someone. It just
means you've got to start building relationships. Mentoring isn't imposed
on people, it's offered in love (at least in God's kingdom it is!).
There's a lot more we could write here, but this will suffice to start
you thinking if you have never been this way yet.
9.4
And So?
As we come to the end of this preliminary chapter about the ministry
of the church, some questions we might
consider are:
- Am
I aware of the New Testament teaching that we are to change – to grow
and mature in faith, in grace, in knowing Christ, in becoming more
like him in character and in service?
- Am
I open to receiving teaching, correction, guidance, help, and direction
from others?
- Is
my life full of Christ's acceptance, love, care, and compassion for
others, and am I willing to share my life with others to bless them?
These are just some of the questions that might help us
become people who can help other people face up to who they really are,
so that the love of Jesus may penetrate the possible hardness that may
have formed through the knocks of life, and bring them to security.