Chapter
1 : A Need for Today
“..
having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose”.
(Phil
2:2)
1.1
The Background to this book
Welcome to Book 2 of Creating a Secure Church.
In Book One we considered the subject of personal security, individually
knowing that we are loved and accepted by God. In this Book we're moving
on to consider security in our corporate life as 'church'.
In this opening chapter you'll find some brief opening
comments about the needs of our time, some explanatory details about
the book, and reasons why the book was written. In that latter
part I'll use three illustrations, things that happened in the life
of our church, which provoked my thinking, and which provide pointers
for us as we start to consider Creating a Secure Church.
The
Cry of “Friends”
In the mid 1990's the theme song for what became
a cult youth TV series declared, “I'll be there for you,” and Friends
became essential watching for that generation. In the years that
followed, series followed series and videos followed videos.
Friends captured a feeling among the younger generation.
The cry of “I'll be there for you” could perhaps sum up the whole Christian
message. Jesus was there, and is there, for us. Similarly he wants
us to be there for one another in the church, and indeed for
anyone, however bad, who comes looking for Christ. That's what this
book is all about.
A
Need for Transparency
Before I get under way in this particular book, I think it's
important for me to be as transparent as I can, for I am going to say
some things about “Church” and I don't in any way want to put myself
forward as an expert in church life.
To the contrary, I lead a fairly small church, and I am aware
there are many, many leaders who could teach far more about church from
their experiences than I could. Indeed some of the dynamic ministries
that I have been under over the years, in Bible Weeks especially, have
really caused me to think whether the whole foundation of this book
is valid.
I am in many ways a small scale practitioner, but then I have
written a book about only one facet of church life. I happen to
believe it is THE most important facet of church life which impinges
on all other areas and simply ask you, if you've come to this site,
to see if it says things to your situation, whether you come from a
large church or small.
I recently stood in the book area at a large Bible Week in the
U.K. and, looking at the plethora of titles, wondered why I've bothered
writing. At one point I'll briefly mention using prophecy with
non-Christians. If you want an good book on the subject you will
find “Prophetic Evangelism” by Mark Stibbe excellent. At another point
I refer to “church without walls”. If you go looking, you'll find a
number of excellent books with that very title. My only excuse is that
I didn't know about them at the time!
I suspect you can find many books that cover in detail the things
I cover here in outline. The only thing I can say, is that I've never
seen these things, in this form, all together in one place, so I hope
you'll find some benefit from that and, hey, this is free to you!
My
History
Before I say anything, particularly in the next chapter, that
might be considered negative about denominations, streams or groupings,
I want first of all, simply to pay tribute to the wide diversity of
church life that has blessed and formed me through the years.
If you're reading from some other part of the world, I
was born and live in the U.K. I came to Christ indirectly through
a Billy Graham Crusade in 1967. I lived in London and went to the nearest
church which happened to be a little Methodist church. The minister
blessed me. Through the circumstances surrounding me at that time I
soon moved down to the area where I now live, to work in a youth evangelism
team, but also became part of a Baptist church where I was soon baptised.
The teaching and stability of that church established me. Part of my
time was with the youth team and I occasionally took part in services
in little independent chapels around the county.
Some of my new friends (because there was a strong youth
scene in this area at that time) belonged to the Brethren and from them
I learned the wonder of the Word of God. Others of my friends belonged
to the Elim Pentecostals and their life and enthusiasm also blessed
me. I became a Crusader leader and taught Bible classes on Sunday afternoons.
After Sunday evening meetings, I opened my flat (‘apartment' to the
Americans!) and about 40 or so young people swarmed in, and for a period
we learned about being led by the Spirit.
I worked in London and went to lunch hour services in an
Anglican church where the teaching really helped further establish me.
In those early days I read Watchman Nee and Francis Schaeffer and was
much helped. With the passing of years my wife and I became involved
with a small independent evangelical church where I eventually became
a deacon and subsequently an elder. For eight years we joined with Scripture
Union and had the privilege of leading a beach mission in Wales for
two weeks each summer.
Along the way we fellowshipped at Prayer & Bible weeks with
Dennis Clark, then the Dales Bible Weeks, even a New Frontiers Bible
Week or two, and finally Bible Weeks with Cornerstone Ministries at
Shepton Mallet in the South West of England… and a few other places!
When I look back over this far from complete catalogue, I marvel
at the men, the ministries, the churches, the streams and the denominations
that have blessed me over the years. The U.K. has provided a rich
heritage during my lifetime. We are much blessed.
The Lord has also allowed me to travel and minister
in Asia, Europe and the States as well, for a number of years.
I suppose I should also mention that I have led a church in the South
East of England for about twenty years that would probably fall into
the category of free evangelical with charismatic leanings! I hope that
doesn't put you off! Some of the people we have with us today, have
been with me throughout that period and have blessed me again and again
and, more importantly for this book, have taught me many things about
the subject of security.
I have been blessed by the church in its many forms. The
church is very diverse but it also has a number of commonalities. This
book is really all about just one of them.
Why
have I written Book 2?
I suppose I have written both these books because any half-decent
church will agree with the teaching that we are to love one another,
yet in reality, because we are the tainted beings that we are, we so
often fall far short of Jesus' instructions, I believe, again and again.
I've seen things, and been part of things
that must grieve God's heart. Through the years He has worked on my
heart and these two books are the result. These things are at the heart
of our church and so, from time to time you'll have to excuse me if
I give personal illustrations. My church will no doubt tell me off if
I misrepresent things!
1.2
Forces of Change
In Book One I shared with you, in the opening chapter,
why I had written that book and told of an experience that we had had
on a church retreat. Now that retreat did speak significantly of corporate
life but two other experiences in particular, have also had impact on
me in recent years and have provoked me to write about this dimension
of our church life. The first one, you'll see involved an individual
and the second one touched on Sunday mornings. I hope you'll see how
they apply. However, if you haven't read Book One, then I would ask
you to quickly turn there and see what happened on that retreat. It
was significant in the corporate life of our church. If you have already
read that, let's move on.
A
Guilt Revealed
The first incident involves a young man we'll call Jack.
That's not his name. Similarly let's call his wife Marie, again not
her real name. Marie came to see me a few weeks after she had started
coming to us. She confessed that she had just come back to Jesus after
many years out of relationship with him and she now asked for guidance
as to what she should do with her life. A number of years beforehand
she had entered into a relationship with Jack and they had a child.
The only problem was she had never got a divorce from her previous partner
who had left her. Marie wanted to do whatever was right but the only
problem was that Jack wasn't a Christian so she didn't know how he would
react. To cut a long story short, Jack gloriously came through to become
a Christian a few weeks later (a genuine conversion!). Marie divorced
her previous partner and married Jack so their son could have a father,
and so they lived happily ever after. Not quite!
Two years later they came to see me. Jack had a problem with
pornography. We talked and prayed with him. He made a very full confession.
Then he came to see me again and started to confess to having abused
his youngest step daughter. “I want to do whatever it takes to put this
right. I want to be right with God and with the family, and if it means
going to prison, I'll do that, whatever it takes to put this right”
was his plea.
For the next year we sought to stand alongside Jack, Marie and
their family. He has subsequently served a six month prison sentence.
It was while we were trying to find professional counselling for Jack
that we realised what a problem we, as Church, have. We know a number
of counselling groups and as we approached them we began to feel the
same thing coming through, and it became transparently clear when one
person eventually actually said to us, “We counsel the abused and I'm
not sure how our counsellors would feel about counselling an abuser.”
If you are a parent with young children you probably feel very
angry (rightly so) about the abuse that goes on in our society. When
Jack first told me what he had been doing, my heart went cold. When
I shared it with our leadership team there was a similar reaction of
revulsion. But what about when an abuser comes to the church and says,
“Please help me”? Eventually we did eventually find someone who could
counsel Jack, who did specialise in this area of work, but for a while
we felt that we, the Church, were missing out on being Jesus to sinners.
The case of Jack has made us examine our hearts very deeply.
As a society we have lifted off the moral restraints, we have filled
our minds with sex, and then wondered why many men have been unable
to control their depraved desires. Can we as church be both holy and
compassionate, can we be Jesus to those who do want help, with whatever
sin?
Pick
'n Mix
The second incident is completely different and involves an alternative
approach to our Sunday mornings. As church services go, I believe ours
tend to be fairly free, informal and quite often lively. The presence
of the Lord is often clearly there. However, a number of people had
been giving an indication that they felt we had become stale in our
approach to Sunday morning worship.
We then adopted an approach to occasional Sunday
mornings that we've called “Pick ‘n Mix”. You've perhaps come across
sweet shops that allow you to choose a few out a variety of jars to
make up your own selection, called “Pick ‘n Mix”. This describes well
what we had in mind. The idea was that for one Sunday a month for three
months we would have an experimental approach to the whole morning.
(It started for three months several years ago (2004) and continued
for about two and a half years.)
We would run at least three parallel streams at the same time.
The third stream was the children and young people who had their own
activities throughout the morning. The rest of the church ran two streams
throughout the morning in half hour blocks with quarter hour coffee
breaks in between. The aim was to provide alternative approaches to
worship, running at the same time and varieties of teaching style and
subject. (I'll share more on this in the chapter later in the the book
titled "A Light to the World".)
At the end of the first morning we had a feedback time and collected
people's comments. They were 95% very favourable. People had been able
to choose what type of worship to join in, what sort of teaching to
go for and so on. The comments came thick and fast. Brilliant! Wonderful!
I really enjoyed it! I feel so refreshed. The presence of God was so
strong. I really enjoyed the teaching. But the comment that has prompted
me to write about it came in the midst of the many other positive comments:
“For the first time ever, I really enjoyed church”. Now that may sound
really encouraging but when you think of it, it actually says, “All
these years we've tolerated or put up with church!”
I've not been able to put that comment out of my mind.
My conclusion? Many of us put up with church, either because it's all
we've ever known, or because we're frightened of upsetting leaders,
or because…… but the truth is that for many of us we're playing games
and we can't be honest about it, because to face it might undermine
what we think is our faith.
The truth is that it won't, it will help
us create a secure church, one where it's not a sin to be honest. Now
I hope this doesn't shock you and if your instant reaction is a defensive
one, I understand that and would simply ask you to look in the coming
months at what you know of as ‘church' through honest eyes, and see
if it's true.
Lessons
from Abuse?
What lessons can we learn from these things? What about our abuse
case? Perhaps these are some of the questions that we need to ask ourselves
as churches:
•
Is there a clear distinction taught in
our churches between right and
wrong, not what the current world climate says but what
the word of God
says?
•
Is there such a depth of grace and understanding
in our churches that a
secure environment has been created where people can
feel secure enough
to confess their sins, and know they will still be loved,
and will also receive
help and support to change?
Lessons
from Variety
The questions from Pick 'n Mix are not so much about loving and
caring for needy people as about loving and caring for people sufficiently
to allow them to be honest about what we do together as church:
•
Are we tolerating practices in church
that are lifeless and boring because
we're afraid to speak out?
•
Is our leadership sufficiently secure
that we are able to take criticism of
what we do, week by week? (this is not to create a criticism
or blame
culture but to provide a channel for constructive feedback)
1.3
Occasional Fractures in the Church
In Book One, in the first chapter, we reminded ourselves of God's
words to Samuel (1 Sam 16:7) “The LORD does not look at the things
man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks
at the heart”, and applied it by means of an imaginary pastor who
God touches so that he can see the genuine state of each of his people.
To provoke thoughts about the corporate life aspects of church, I'd
now like to use another imaginary situation to show that often all is
not as it seems.
Goodbye
Pastor! (1)
Pastor John collected his papers together from his desk and placed
them into his briefcase as he prepared to go to the monthly leader's
meeting in the Conference room. In his mind he went over the things
he needed: minutes of last meeting, proposal for the buildings plans,
report from the recent Romanian trip, the accounting figures for the
last quarter, the notes on the evangelism project? Yes, it was all there.
John enjoyed the business meetings. He had a good feel, the feel of
being the captain of a good ship. Yes, Sunday attendance numbers were
up, giving was up, there was a good feel in the congregation. His preaching
was well accepted, the Bible Study and Prayer Meeting were well attended.
Yes, it was good being here.
John arrived to find the others gathered round the table already.
A good bunch of men. He sat down and was only then aware of a sense
of tension in the room.
“John, before we get on to anything on the agenda, I think we need to
say something to you.” This was Derek, right-hand man, strong personality
and a man for God. He continued before John could say anything.
“John, a number of us have been talking. This isn't a hasty decision
but we need to let you know, right now, I'm sorry but we feel your time
here is up. We can't work with you any longer, you're not hearing us,
you've got stale, and we feel God is probably calling you somewhere
else. There's no room for negotiation. We'd like you to leave, and for
the sake of the people, we feel that should be as soon as possible,
and so we'd like you to step down before the end of the month. We're
sorry John, that's just how it is.”
With that, there was a scraping of chairs and with the
exception of John, each person around the table got up and quietly left
the room. John sat in stunned silence, alone in the big Conference room.
"Am I dreaming this? Did this just happen? This is crazy! What
have I done? What haven't I done? Why didn't I see this coming? Why
didn't they talk to me about it before it got to this? How could they
do this to me? How did they keep this from me until now?"
Pastor John sat alone with his head bowed, and wept.
Goodbye
Pastor! (2)
Derek poured
the milk over his cereal and carefully slit open the first letter in
the pile Mary had put down next to him. The rest were clearly junk mail
but this envelope was hand written and clearly not business. It was
a nice morning, the sun shone, Derek had slept well, the matters in
his diary for the day were not likely to cause problems, the church
was at peace. He drew out the single sheet of paper.
Dear
Derek,
This is simply to inform you that as from today both myself and
the worship team are resigning from the church and will be setting up
a new group of the Lord's people in the middle of town.
You will know that a number of us have had reservations
about the formality of the Sunday Morning Services and have expressed
to you a number of times our feeling that we have been grieving the
Holy Spirit. As we have discussed this among ourselves we have concluded
that there is very little hope of change coming to this church and feel
it would be more beneficial for both you and us if we left the church
and set up elsewhere.
We have appreciated your ministry over the years but feel
it is simply time for us to move on. We apologise if the absence of
musicians leaves a hole in the Sunday morning ministry but we're sure
there will be others who will be able to come forward and play for you.
We suspect that there are a number of others in the church
who feel similarly and while we have not encouraged others to come with
us, a number do know we are meeting in town as from next Sunday.
We pray that God will bless you and the church in your
ministry.
Yours
sincerely,
……………
A black cloud seemed to have come down over Derek and he just
sat there unmoving. After a minute or two Mary looked up and asked,
“Is anything the matter?”
The following Sunday the usual congregation of about ninety was
reduced by twenty and the following Sunday a further twenty were missing.
1.4
And So ?
As in Book One, at the end of each chapter we'll pose a
few questions to focus our thinking.
What did you feel when I started telling you about Jack's sin?
Were you: