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Chapter 14: Specific Battlefronts: 1. Sexuality Part A: Introduction to Biblical Sexuality
CONTENTS
Part 14:1 Introduction to Biblical Sexuality Sexual Differentiation
Part 14:4 Other Factors & Conclusions Preliminary warning - Body Working Good Sex
Part 14:3 Bad Sex in the Bible Prohibitions Bad sex activity
Part 14:4 Other Factors & Conclusions Sexual Appetite The potential wonder of marriage
Preliminary: Christians used to be taunted with the jibe that, “You lot are neurotic and are always going on about sex”. There is good cause to suggest that today that jibe is more appropriately applied to the world and if we Christians are concerned it is because a) we see God's design for sex revealed in the Bible and b) the havoc being caused by the abandonment of God's design in the sexual world today. In this chapter we start to investigate these claims by first of all observing the realities of sexuality and then the potential of its expressions within marriage.
Part 14:1 Introduction to Biblical Sexuality
Sexual Differentiation: The New Dictionary of Christian Ethics and Pastoral Theology seeks to spell out something of sexual differentiation, i.e. the basics of male and female: Sexual differentiation is, initially and fundamentally, biological. A fundamental sexual differentiation is male and female. The biological foundations for such differentiation can sometimes be disturbed, but ordinarily our sexual identity is grounded from the outset in the chromosomal configurations that distinguishes mail from male (XX or XY). Out of that initial distinction others develop: differences in dominant hormones, in gonads (ovaries or testes), and in external genitalia. Note, when the chromosome balance is normal, but on occasion (in this fallen, dysfunctional world) can sometimes be out of kilter. This clear traditional understanding is now obviously questioned by many, as we will go on to see. Nevertheless the author in the Dictionary accepts difficulties of definition…
In human beings, however, nature is never untouched by history and the sexual differentiation is more than biological. It extends also to gender identity, where the distinction of masculine and feminine may be far more difficult to describe…. It remains difficult to specify gender differences with anything like the precision that can be used in stating sexual differences. … but goes on to point out historically observed differences… Certain differences may be innate e.g. verbal ability in females and mathematical ability in males, aggression in males and nurturing behaviour in females. Some have argued that the males and females have characteristically different modes of moral reasoning - with females tending more towards a morality of caring that emphasise in webs of attachment, and males tending more towards an abstract morality and individualised justice.
…although this is clearly not set in concrete, and so he goes on to observe other causes of differences… Certainly we inherit a set of culturally learned roles and expectations. These may be inculcated by those with authority to socialise us - parents and, perhaps, teachers. They may also be learned by imitation as we turn quite naturally to those who share our biological sex. Biological differences alone cannot account for gender, and gender identity does not grow inevitably out of one's biological sex, but there may be predispositions connecting the two. …. and then goes on to expound the view of traditional marriage: In the freedom a husband and wife must take up the task of building a unit in which they remain distinct but united, equal by not but not identical….. Marriage is a lifetime union of a man and a woman, entered by their mutual and public consent. As such it is the gift of God, who sees that “it is not good for the man to be alone” (Gen 2:18) and who wills that the human species should be sustained through offspring.
Part 14:2 Good Sex in the Bible
The Bible has a surprising amount to say on sex, but as it was God's design we should not be surprised about that.
Preliminary warning - Body Working: As with all things that are God-given, as part of His provision through creation, we can use properly or improperly that provision. An obvious and simple example is the provision of food and the fact that we use (eat) food a) to provide energy and b) to provide pleasure – hence our taste buds that are capable to distinguishing between an incredible range of foods or drinks. But if we overeat – gluttony – we become obese and obesity can cause heart disease and strokes, high blood pressure, diabetes, some cancers, gallbladder disease and gallstones, osteoarthritis, gout, breathing problems, such as sleep apnea (when a person stops breathing for short episodes during sleep) and asthma. (Internet) Ultimately all of these things can cause early death.
But the picture is not all negative for all foods or drinks are, at first sight, for our blessing and can be enjoyable, although it is clear that the taste buds of the individual mean that we have differing preferred tastes, and these can change with age.
Good Sex: The fact of distinct genders is seen in the Bible as God's provision – a good provision – for example, as one expanded version puts the starting place
“So God created human beings [man; the Hebrew adam can mean human beings, humankind, person, man, or the proper name Adam] in his image [reflecting God's nature/character and representing him in the world]. In the image of God he created them. He created them male and female.” (Gen 1:27)
Indeed the primary purpose follows: “God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number,” (Gen 1:28) which is achieved by t he act of sexual intercourse as a part of the expression of love, again seen as God's provision, soon declared: “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife in such a way that the two become one person.” (Gen 2:24 TLB)
The way we express this act, so often (or at least used to) seeing it as an expression of love is soon seen: “Adam made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain.” ( Gen 4:1) To be fair other versions do not use the word ‘love' and simply say things like, “Then Adam had intercourse with his wife, and she became pregnant,” or “Adam had intimate relations with his wife Eve. She became pregnant,” or “Adam had sexual relations with his wife Eve. She became pregnant.”
However, in the absence of love, the sexual act becomes purely an act of personal sexual gratification, or one of domination – rape. One modern feminist writer reveals the dominant viewpoint in Western societies today:
(Louise Perry – ‘The Case against the Sexual Revolution', published 2022 – not recommended for the easily shocked.)
The goodness of sexual attraction (as part of God's design) is demonstrated in the Bible in the entire book of the Song of Solomon (seen elsewhere on this site presented as a play). No one reading this Song, near the middle of the Bible, could ever call God priggish, straightlaced or puritanical!
In the New Testament, the apostle Paul instructs husbands and wives, “Do not deprive one another sexually—except when you agree for a time, to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again.“ (1 Cor 7:5)
The Message version goes to town on this passage: “It's good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it's for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again.”
The tone and suggestions of that paraphrase run dramatically contrary to the modern world where sex had become purely self-centred for self-gratification (as we will see in the next chapter). Notice the instructions to both partners to ‘satisfy' their partner in bed. In the next chapter, if you are strong enough for it, we will consider sexuality as the ‘world' sees it today.
Suffice to say, by way of conclusion, the Bible clearly reveals sex is God's idea, part of His design for us to procreate and find one another desirable and enjoyable. Where possible (and it's not always possible and therefore not essential) sex is to play a part of the committed marriage relationship to enhance it and deepen it. Outside of that committed relationship it becomes simply a self-serving physical activity that, experience shows, more often than not gives more pleasure to the man than the woman. The next chapter may appear shocking to some but shines a spotlight on the realities of modern western sexual culture, which is found seriously lacking, and why such feminist writers such as Louise Perry write as they do.
But so far we have been focusing, quite briefly, on the good aspects of sex seen in the Bible but we need to be honest and convey the wider picture and the Bible is not backward about its teaching on sex, which will not make many already unhappy modern people any happier!
Douglas Murray, near the end of his chapter entitled ‘Gay' in ‘The Madness of Crowds', makes an interesting point: If there is any one thing in society that gets even close to matching the confusion and angst of women about men, it is of course the list of questions which men have about women. The subject of nearly all dramatic comedy is the inability of men to understand women. What are they thinking? What do they want? Why is it so hard to read their actions? Why does each sex expect the other to be able to decode their words, actions and silences, when no member of the opposite sex has ever been given a decoding manual for the opposite sex? At the root of the heterosexual male's set of concerns and questions is the same question that women have about men. What is the act of lovemaking like? What does the other person feel? What do they get out of it? And how do the sexes fit together?”
Marriage should be the place where those questions are resolved, not used as a cause for conflict. One might add to that list of questions about sex, “and how can we care for each other and make it better for each other?”
Part 14:3 Bad Sex in the Bible
Prohibitions: Within the Bible we see the following prohibitions:
i) No sex with close member of your family Lev 18:5,6 Keep my decrees and laws, for the man who obeys them will live by them. I am the LORD. No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. I am the LORD.
The New Dictionary of Christian Ethics and Pastoral Theology comments: “incestuous sexual activity is that which takes place between persons who are relatives either by blood (consanguinity [descended from the same ancestor]) or by marriage (affinity). Obviously only those closely related are prohibited from marrying though the precise degree of kinship ordinarily specified in law. Prohibited degrees in ancient Israel or specified in Leviticus 18-6-18 and 20:11-12,14,17-21. Today we know that children born from incestuous relationships may face increased risk of genetically recessive disorders or congenital malformations, but of course, such knowledge does not lie behind the prohibited prohibitions in ancient Israel. In part, these prohibitions – and certainly those dealing with relationships of affinity - seem to aim at the avoidance of domestic discord by precluding the possibility of wedlock between persons likely to be members of the same household.” ii) Various other sexual experiences were banned by the Law. Lev 18:21 Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable. The Law was clear about homosexuality – see later chapter Lev 18:22 Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion. i.e. bestiality forbidden
iii) The most obvious prohibition was adultery – sex while married but with someone not your partner Ex 20:14 You shall not commit adultery. Deut 22:22 If a man is found sleeping with another man's wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel.
(See comments on the Law in later chapter)
Bad sex activity: The Bible is not coy about the failures of mankind and thus we see recorded
i) Incest – king Herod (Mt 14:3,4) ii) Adultery – king David with Bathsheba (2 Sam 11:1-5) iii) Rape (Gen 34:2, 2 Sam 13:10-14)
Part 14:4 Other Factors & Conclusions
Sexual Appetite: Any sex outside the marriage bed – one man married to one woman – is seen in the Bible to be outside the design of God and thus forbidden. However, let's turn from the negatives and see the wonderful potential of this design of one man with one woman in a committed, loving relationship.
The New Dictionary of Christian Ethics and Pastoral Theology again comments: Sexual appetite, like all appetites of sinners, needs discipline and control. Appetite, uncontrolled by mutual love, constantly threatens to disrupt and damage human lives. Erotic love, pursued even at the cost of broken promises and unfaithfulness, becomes an idol. Marriage functions to provide needed restraint and discipline as the God-given place of healing for our sexual nature. Although in the modern era this has received far less emphasis than the relational and procreative purposes of marriage, healing is also one of the ends towards which God works through the marital bond. This is essentially what Paul meant by writing that “it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Cor 7:9). In learning the meaning of faithful love to one other person, a spouse, we gradually become more able to devote ourselves to the good of others. Our self-serving impulses begin to be healed. And in being loved in this way by a spouse, we find that some of our deepest anxiety's - our fear of loneliness and desertion - are quieted.
The potential wonder of marriage: Let's try and take in some of the suggestions of this quote:
1. We all (or mostly all) have sexual appetites, desires wanting to be satisfied. (Modern ‘sex' in the Western world today demonstrates this desire that looks to be satisfied out of relationship – for males at least, as we'll see in the next chapter.) 2. Such appetite needs self-discipline and control. We may assume that excess, as in the example of over-eating seen at the beginning of the previous part, may lead to harmful outworkings. These we can consider in the next chapter. 3. Erotic love, that based purely on desires stoked by pornography say, can become all-important (as we'll see in the next chapter) and can become the cause of inability to form meaningful, healthy relationships, or cause the breakdown of existing relationships. 4. Sex, seen as an expression of love within a committed marriage relationship, can become a means of bringing healing to the otherwise self-centred personality, teaching each partner to be concerned for the other partner rather than being utterly self-centred in outlook. This, in turn, is thus developed into a wider caring for others. 5. When the committed, loving marriage partnership is working properly, it becomes the environment where the natural concerns of life can be shared harmoniously and allayed by mutual concern and understanding, i.e. the marriage works as a healing environment for the individual.
Listening to the concerns of such writers as Louise Perry about modern sexual experiences, we are certain that those expressions of concern will bring others out into the open to declare of the modern approach to sexuality to declare, “It doesn't work!” with a hope that there will be a return to the biblical design for sex that is both for procreation and enjoyment and can create a healing environment for each and every person.
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