Introduction

In these four pages of "Clearing the Past" we consider Guilt, Fear & Anxiety, Rejection and Unresolved Conflict as four areas where things from the past impinge on the present.

On this page we move on to consider "Unresolved Conflict", the forms it takes, and dealing with it.  Again this will be quite a brief page.

1. What it is

An unresolved conflict is any negative situation in the past that hasn’t been fully and properly resolved, so that it still causes us anguish in the present and stops us simply enjoying being a child of God relating well to other people.

Note again those three elements of "an unresolved conflict":

it's something that happened in the past that wasn't properly dealt with,
it still has impact on us today,
it limits us or hinders us becoming what we could become.

2. Things that Affect how We Feel about Ourselves

2.1 Guilt (DOING)

This is about what we FEEL today because of what we DID in the past.

We did something wrong (against God & perhaps against others)
- but have never confessed it
- and have never sought reconciliation
- and have never brought restitution
- and have never sought forgiveness

therefore we now need to DO each of these things.

(NB. If you have a difficulty over the whole question of forgiveness, you may wish to go the the pages on Forgiveness in the "What it Means to be a Christian" area.)


2.2 Inadequacy (BEING)

This is about what we FEEL today because of what we THINK about ourselves.

We have been told that we are less than God has made us to be
We became fearful, feeling we could not cope
We doubted that God can protect and provide for us
We lost a sense of purpose and destiny

Therefore we now need too THINK differently
- by bringing our minds in line with the truth
- by seeing ourselves as God sees us

(NB. If you have a difficulty over the whole question of how God sees you, you may wish to go the the pages on God's Love for You in the "What it Means to be a Christian" area.)

 

  
3. Things that affect how we Relate to Others

3.1 How we feel about ourselves

Obviously the things in 2 above affect how we react to people
A guilt ridden person is not an open person.

An inadequate person tends to be withdrawn.

3.2 How we feel about others

Three particular things affect us:

i) Unforgiveness

Failure to forgive others will block our relationship with them

Mt 6:14,15, 18:21,35 - we must have a right attitude (see above on 'Forgivenes' pages)

ii) Lack of Acceptance

- Negative feelings about a person,
- failing to take them as they are,
- wanting them to always be different

         - all stop us enjoying them, and them us.

iii) Prejudice

Wrong views of others because of colour or creed
- this is one stage on from lack of acceptance,
- it often leads to negative words and negative actions,
- it grieves the heart of God,
- it makes any form of relationship with them impossible.

  
4. A Right View of Ourselves

It is difficult to hold a right view. We tend to move towards extremes, e.g.:

As indicated above, we therefore need to be reviewing what is going on in our mind, bringing it in line with the truth as shown here.